"Ever Thought about that there's never been an identical sunrise?"

The smell of a white board marker wafts through the air as a long list appears beneath the felt tip. The list starts at the top of the blue board, messy letters cascading down to the metal rim holding the square together. A drawing of an owl peers back at me as my eyes skim over the messy list headed with the simplest two words that carry so much weight I can almost physically feel it on my shoulders: "To Do" with a neat line beneath it. Falling back in my chair I put the cap on to halt the fragrance from settling further within the corners of my room and stare up at the constellations mapped out on my walls.
The voices of Beautiful Eulogy break the silence of the deserted house, the  brown walls staring at each other in the slowly darkening halls and rooms. I straighten my back in an attempt at better posture and press my socked feet into the carpet, wheeling myself back to my desk that's cluttered with numerous books, too many pens for the amount of hands I have, and Kleenex. It's now I determine my obsession with Kleenex...
But this is exactly what is going on in my life the past few weeks. I've distracted you, the reader, from what the purpose of this post is about. I don't want you to know my every obsession and what I do every second of my life. For if I wrote about that you'd be wasting your life and bored out of your mind. Let's make it short and simple. I've been dealing with everything Satan seems to be throwing at me successfully distracting me from the main purpose of my life. To find time to read and study my bible within the past few months I've come to realize is just not happening. I lie to myself reading a chapter or two before going to bed before falling asleep and forgetting what I read. That isn't the point of reading the bible. It's not a book to just pick up and read then forget. No we're commanded to memorize and study it. It's not a storybook like the books I've been reading endlessly for school. It's supposed to be part of me, part of my life. How can I go about being an influence to the youth I'm working with in the church and to my Christian brothers and sisters when I can hardly recite anything from memory? It disturbs me that I've been caught up in all these distractions and shoving my God on the shelf. Sure that might sound a little harsh, but I'm not going to sit here and try to raise myself up to some heavenly position because we all know that I'm nothing but a grain of sand on a beach in the universe. I don't deserve what God's given to me. I have to continually remind myself the only reason I'm where I am is because of Him. Nothing that I've done. It's all been Him and His will.
However as depressing as I seem to be making this blog I do want to express my gratitude for the prayers that have been prayed this week for me. My mother informed me of her churches prayer for me and I have to thank my friends around me who are praying for me. It's helped me immensely the past week and continues to give me strength to keep my head up and keep pushing on. But I guess I want to say now if you're still praying, please pray that we don't get distracted from these earthly distractions and rather be distracted from this earth by God and his word. The lion of the devil has attacked and thrown me into a frenzy lately and I'm positive I'm not the only one. God can fight that lion, let him do that for you. I'll be praying this for you.

Check out this amazing song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxz5P9CRzr8

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