Be Still and Know That I Am

A box of kleenex sits as my companion on the upstairs couch, the Sears sign lighting the living room through the front window. No smell fills my stuffed head, my eyes are closed as I type this and my body is exhausted despite the fact I've done nothing today. My mind searches for some sort of message as One Republic's, "Preacher" lyrics float into my thoughts. A similar experience (regarding my eyes being closed and the song blaring into my ears) occurred yesterday on my way home from school. The cold was slowly creeping up on my then and I knew I was in for a storm. It's as though I've come to accept it though, the good and the bad. It was the calm before the storm as I felt the holy spirit slowly filling me once again with much needed strength.
I definitely wouldn't say I was filled, in fact no where near was I filled to where I feel like I need to be. But I guess that's in God's hands, not mine. "You can never spend his wealth" were the lyrics that struck me the hardest as I thought about the meaning of the song. I've recently been contemplating what my third and final tattoo in the 1 Corinthians 13:13 "series" I've begun with. "...but the greatest of these is love."
How can one even begin to symbolize the love that God has for us? What does love even mean? How can there be a single meaning? A single pin point? I've thought about it for over five years and struggle still to find a single symbol that I can etch onto my skin permanently to remind me every single day of his enduring love. It's a relational love and I've seen plenty of relational tattoos. Names of husbands, wives, boyfriends, children, friends, even pets. But do I really just want to stamp GOD onto my body or JESUS and be done with it when my other two use symbols that mean so much I could spend a good hour on either of them telling you the meaning of them? It doesn't seem fair that the greatest of the three only gets the name of my king, my father, my best friend. Don't get me wrong, I could go on for hours on the name, but I wanted something more than that. Something that defines his love for me. What has he done for me that has been so significant that I can't forget it. Something that keeps coming up like the butterflies symbol of hope to me every time one flutters by?
Recently I had a discussion with my roommate and one of my best friends, Tobi. We were walking, slowly, over to a physiotherapists office for my appointment and I was discussing my frustration with this third tattoo. Many of my close friends know my love for the stars. I've spent many a night lying on the ground, on the shed roof, on the cattle shelter on the farm, freezing my hands and feet off just staring up at the vast amount of stars twinkling in the night sky. The northern lights have danced in front of my eyes as I camped in the mountains. I've stared deep into space during an astronomy course and been able to photograph the very nebulae that surround us. However. How does one tattoo a star filled night onto their body? A realistic night sky? There just isn't any way. So I went to the next best thing and began looking at galaxy tattoos. I will stop here though and may continue when I have further updates on the idea.
One question Tobi and I began to discuss was why did God have to make beauty? Why did he have to make the stars so beautiful? The flowers stunning? Why'd the sun have to cast pinks, purples, oranges, and reds across the expanse of the sky? Why did he even make colours? He didn't have to.
Even now when I think about it I realize how much He loves us. How much He wants us to find him in nature. How much nature reflects only the slightest amount of His beauty.
My roommates and I are going through the book Captivating, which essentially is a book about the beauty of women and how God created them to be. I've read it numerous times and I really encourage any women out there who haven't, christian or not, to pick it up and read it. It's a simple read. It'll make you laugh. It'll make you cry. It'll make you grow. It'll also make you realize that you...as a woman...are the crown of all creation. We reflect God's beauty in so many ways.

I have to apologize for the length this post is going to become because I already feel like I'm just on the tip of the iceberg.

Beauty hasn't been what I've been feeling lately. I've been curled up in a ball crying so hard it hurts my back, more then I haven't been this week. Depression has struck once again, the monster has crawled back out of the dungeon I'd cast it to and now I'm back in a battle with what haunted me for five years in my teens. I wrote on my facebook a week ago that I was struggling. This week has only been worse then last and as things begin to sink in I realize that this is a different kind of battle.
I hated myself in high school. Physical and emotional abuse to myself was a daily routine that became a dangerous habit. Suicide was a common thought to the point that I almost acted it out. What stopped me? A divine appointment. With God. No person stepped up at that moment that I sat curled up with scalding water pouring over my too thin body and held the weapon of my soon to be demise. There is no other way to put it except for God breaking my heart. I came to realize what I was doing not only to myself but to the ones around me.
Depression affects everyone you come into contact with. I've realized this over the years. Those commercials you see on tv, the depressing ones about depression? They're right. The sooner you can get help, and by help I mean long term help, the better. That long term help for me is God.
This morning I hobbled out of my room to the kitchen and stood in front of the fridge as I didn't have an appetite for anything besides coffee. Now you must know that our fridge is littered, no...covered in certificates, magnets, notes, business cards, and little versus.
"Even youths shall faint and be weary and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:30-31
How can one not be filled with comfort reading that? Who wouldn't want to wait for the Lord?
This week has been horrible because I'm coming to the realization that I have a disease. A disorder I could deal with. Anxiety disorder. Panic disorder. Throw it at me I can take it. But a disease just seems a little worse. Just a little more terrifying. Just a little more like something I don't want associated with me. You always think it'll never be you, all those signs in the past I had I always brushed aside saying to myself that everyone got them. Everyone went through this.
Most people don't get out of bed unable to stretch their legs out, let alone fear the pain in their feet might cause them to stumble. Most don't fear they won't be able to open their mouth to eat.
I could complain and complain, but I feel like I've done enough this week and that I need to find another way to cope with this. Music has become an escape for me, taking my mind off the pain and giving me hope. But mostly, the lyrics "you can never spend his wealth" have kept me moving the past two days, the worst two days I've had in terms of pain. God is my cane. He is the one I lean on every single moment when I'm awake.
If you don't have that then what do you do? How lonely I would be without Him. How absolutely miserable would I be? How miserable are you? Have you looked to other sources for help? Because I can promise you that you will continue to search. You will search until it either runs you into the ground or you end up his feet.

I promise you. He will be standing with arms wide open. You will be filled with a love you have never known before. A love that will hold you up on the hardest days and remind you every single moment that you are worth it. That you are the child of the Creator. That. You. Are. Precious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX0b6hxjyRs

Life's for the Living, So Live it or You're Better off Dead

The rain falls against the window sliding down and creating dotted patterns upon the glass. Leaves lay heavy on the branches as droplets fall from their tips. Birds hide under facets, looking out as the rain pours down from the low grey clouds. Fog sweeps through alleyways between houses and rolls over the endless hills of St. John's.

And I sit in my beautiful kitchen watching it all pass by instead of writing my research paper that's due tomorrow. But I've been meaning to write a blog post for the past week and it wasn't until now that I've been motivated to do so. So what better time then the present?

Tobi and I are happily settled into our new home with our third roommate Nicole just unpacking and our fourth, Julia, packing up to move in tomorrow. We've become an outpost for those in need of a couch, or in our case a futon, to stay while finding living arrangements during this hectic time of the year. By now you've all heard, seen or watched our vlog and realized how in love I am with our house. I spend the majority of my time in the kitchen as I absolutely love the bay windows and looking out at the beautiful maple trees covering our backyard. Cooking has been occurring as well as I love the amount of work space I have, along with the fact I have nothing to do in my time besides my research paper. 

People have constantly been asking how Russia was and I have begun to hate the question. I cannot possibly find words to put my experience into. It was absolutely amazing, wonderful, adventurous, and more than I ever wanted it to be. Would I go back? In a heart beat. Do I miss it? Everyday. What was the best part? Every single moment I was breathing Russian air. What was the food like? Yummy. What were the people like? Cold on the outside, warm when you spoke to them. Was it dangerous? I didn't feel in danger once. Did you make friends? I made more than friends, we were a family for 30 days to each other. 

There's so much more I could say and it would take blog post upon blog post upon blog post. As I said in my previous blog post I would much rather sit over a cup of tea or coffee (Now that I'm drinking caffeine again) and just have a fun conversation about life and let the stories come up as they may.

However what I can say is that in the past few weeks, perhaps the last month, I have grown more than I have in the past two years. I feel like things have changed, not for the worse either. I enjoyed my time in Russia. I realized things and made decisions to do things I probably wouldn't have done if I never ended up in that beautiful country. People may not like the changed things. Others may love them. Sometimes I feel like I've taken a step backwards, but sometimes you need to take a step backwards to jump ahead two steps. I've become friends with people I wouldn't normally have become friends with and I've joined a new social group I'm proud to be part of. I've realized everyone has something to offer and share and even the things that annoy me aren't such bad things. I've grown more patient, caring and loving. I've grown to appreciate things in other cultures and be grateful for the things I have. 

Things don't always work out the way we want them to. We might think we know who we are and what we want to be and what we want to do. We might have our life planned out and be attacking it step by step. But if there's anything I've learned in the past month, that plan is completely pointless. Things will change. They always do. And when they do. Life gets real. You have to recalculate. You have to stress out and lose your mind for a short bit. You may be pathless and lost. But what's the point of life if there isn't a little shake up once in a while? The Lord likes to keep things interesting and remind us who's actually in control. We can plan all we want. Things will change. You can hate it. You can embrace it. Me?

I'm having an anxiety attack.

Здравствуйте

I'm going to start this post off a little differently than I usually do, and that's a big deal as I hate breaking my routine. I want to apologize to you all for not posting at all during my stay in Russia. Originally I thought I'd have the time and motivation to write numerous blogs about all the crazy adventures I've had here, but upon coming here and actually living I've found that I had little time and when I did I was extremely exhausted. Even as I write this now my head is begging to be put down on the pillow and my eyes threaten to close. But I will write you a short blog and update a bit about what happened in the past month.
Until last week we didn't have any days off from excursions and I can probably count the number of days we were didn't have anything on one hand. This trip has excelled past everything I thought it would be. The worries I had about where we were going to live, the safety of us in the city, the fact Tobi and I might kill each other due to living in such close quarters,  getting lost, not getting along with anyone on the trip were not anything I ever needed to be worried about. The place we live is absolutely wonderful and our hostess is such a mother to us. I have yet to feel unsafe in the city. Tobi and I haven't bickered once and really haven't gotten sick of each other yet. We have got lost, but we've always got home. And I've grown so close to everyone in the group I'm depressed just thinking of leaving them in the airport on Saturday when we arrive back in Newfoundland.
We were blessed with beautiful weather and when it did rain it was gladly welcomed because we were sick of how hot the rest of the time had been. I got a tan that makes me look like I went to Cuba and a fur hat that makes it seem as though I expect Canada to be -40 when I get back.
As for where we've been and what we've been doing, I've seen a number of palaces and museums that would take a blog post each if I were to describe them. The guides were usually terribly boring and we were led through the city on the worst tour I've been on in my life. We solved the problem by getting "lost" and going on a boat tour instead. Besides that one we went on all the tours and I had to say I'm glad I did because I got to see things I wouldn't have had I gone by myself.
The city itself is stunning. Towering apartment buildings that are falling apart litter the maze of streets with palaces springing up all over downtown and anywhere near the canals.Stray dogs wander the streets, pigeons flight into you expecting you to move for them, and babushka's sit at corners with shaky hands out for money or trying to sell flowers. People walk down the street at all hours of the day with a can or bottle of beer, which shouldn't surprise you when it's cheaper than buying water (which you have to do because of the contamination). If you approach someone on the street they'll gladly help you with answering your questions and even offer to take you to where you're looking if it's not too much out of their way. Cars zoom past you, threatening to crush your toes as you cross the street and buses continue to move with their doors open as you attempt to board them.
There's so much I can write and explain, but what would be the fun in telling you all of that. I'd much rather sit down and have tea with you and talk about it in person. There's far too many stories to type and I can't even begin to describe my new friends in writing. I couldn't have asked for a better group to have come. We've saved each others backs more than once and been there for each other. We've seen each other every single day, done things we won't ever do again in our lives and talked about things I've never talked about with other people haha. We've crossed lines, we've hugged, we've fallen asleep on each other's shoulders, we've struggled to understand Russians, we've carried each other home after having too many drinks. As one said, we've become a wolf pack.
I am looking forward to coming home and visiting. I hope this will suffice until next time.

 Пока

Привет из России

The slight gust of wind whips at small pieces of hair, pushing it across parts that used to be straight. The mass of people sways like an ocean with its swells, the smell of a woman's cigarette wafts into my face as I stand staring at Tobi in uncomfortably close quarters. The metro comes to a swift stop and we don't even have to move our feet to get out as we're practically picked up with the mass and taken off the train towards the escalators that stretch up 86 meters back to the surface above the rivers that spread across the city. Finally we emerge from the 16th busiest metro in the world and come out onto Nevsky prospect....the street I've heard so much about.

Mother Russia. The country I've wanted to visit my entire life. And here I am, lying on my bed which is more of a couch than bed, surrounded by 80's style wallpaper. The windows open and I can hear a woman chattering in Russian while Tobi sleeps on her bed across the room. 

I don't even know where to begin. I know we've only been here four days but in those four days so much has happened. Upon arriving in St. Petersburg on Saturday we were bused to a metro station which took at least an hour due to crazy traffic jams. I thought I'd seen horrible driving...but I hadn't seen anything till I cam here. People just put on the gas and go no matter what's in front of them whether it's a car or person. A honking horn is all you'll hear before the car whizzes past, inches from your heel. Once arriving at our destination we came across our hostesses and were whisked away to our separate places. Katya and Mila helped us onto a bus and we headed off to a nearby apartment building where we found our new home. It's a decent sized apartment with numerous bedrooms, a small kitchen and a bathroom in which we can only shower in the morning and for a short period of time each.
Breakfast every day has been absolutely amazing as has all the rest of our meals. We have yet to find something we don't enjoy. The favorite so far has been blini for breakfast or borscht for supper.
The excursions have been exhausting. I've never walked so much in my life and I wish I had a pedometer to measure how far we've been going because I'm pretty sure I'd be amazed. I feel like we'll have walked around the Earth twice by the end of this trip.
I've seen plenty of beautiful palaces and churches and would have to extend this blog a few pages if I were to try and capture the beauty of each one in words. I just don't have the time for it though. I've hardly had time to sit down and write this. We're busy every day from the moment we wake up to the moment we lay our heads on our pillows. My body is physically exhausted, but I find the energy each morning to get up and head to the subway to start another adventure.
Missing you all.
Пока пока

"There's Ice Cubes In My Eyeballs"

The headlights lit the area ahead, flickering from dim to bright in an attempt to expose glassy black orbs in the ditch as our car hurtled along the twisting highway. Mountains stretched up all around as we traveled further towards the snowy caps and more and more deer and elk appeared on the edges of the pavement, their tiny brains debating whether they could jump out before the car or go bounding back into the ditch. It was a game of eye spy with my dearest cousin in the passenger seat beside me. Brakes heated up as they were pressed and the full car slowed to pass by daring animals, music blared through the car to keep us alert and awake as we lost daylight. 

Turning into the middle campsite out of the three we'd planned to check out we came upon a pay phone, thinking we'd call and inform our parents that we'd be going further into the mountains...because we just weren't far enough. Excited, we jumped out of the car and took a few pictures by the lone telephone before shoving a quarter into it and dialing the number, only to remember it was long distance. Hanging back up we began to put more change into it, getting a hold of the operator who informed us of the price to pay. Upon putting money into the box, we found it was full and thus could not make the call. Sighing we headed back into the corolla and headed back to the highway, only to find a bar of service on Tess's cell phone not a moment after getting on the highway. Pulling over we frantically called home and updated our location.

Within an hour we'd arrived and set up our tent. The clock struck 11:30 and we were bagged. Suddenly a fire didn't sound like the greatest idea as the cool air nipped at our exposed skin and we began to prepare for bed. Deciding to head out and find an outhouse I happened to peer up at the black, starry sky only to be confused by the odd shapes across the sky. And then it hit me. The Northern Lights flared up and roared with different colours, covering half of the sky in a dance of ending flames of purple and green and blue. We sat against the car watching the lights point towards what seemed like a vortex point until our bodies forced us back to bed.

Needless to say we did not get the rest we'd hoped for. The frozen air turned us into bags of hypothermia and we shivered under three sleeping bags, our backs pressed against each other for additional heat. By the morning, which one always expects to be burning hot in a tent, we were still frozen and struggling to get out of bed to build that promising fire. Once we'd gathered the strength to get up and get dressed we found our contacts not as malleable as usual and sticking to our eyes like your tongue sticks to metal in below zero temperatures. Eating a healthy breakfast of cherry campfire pies we headed out to do some driving and hiking. 

As we drove along the highway towards Banff though something was spotted far ahead, "What out for that....thing." Tess exclaimed, confused as to what the brown lump was. Pressing on the brakes hard we watched as the animal ran across the road and into the trees. My eyes peered after it attempting to make out what the strange creature was, both of us sitting in silence as we tried to make sense of it. It was too large for an otter or fox, not big enough for a bear...and then it clicked.  The distinct brown and silver markings, the way it ran like a weasel could only have meant one thing it'd been a wolverine. Surprised we'd seen something so rare we trekked on only to see three bears that day, big horn sheep (males) and many more deer. 

The following night we bundled up in numerous layers in hopes we'd get through the night with a wink of sleep. Which worked. At least for myself. I slept through the majority of the night, only being bothered by my shoulder when rolling over and the rest was history. Driving home today was difficult as we both wanted to remain in the mountains, far away from civilization and the conflict with our lives. 

We were truly blessed however with all the wildlife and natural events we saw this weekend. It couldn't have been better with the sunny weather we had, the lack of rain, and the safe trip the Lord provided. I'm excited for the next time I get to go out to the mountains with the rest of the Anderson cousins and enjoy some time in a peaceful environment away from busy life.

Life is good.

Side-Route

The smell of herbs and spices mingle in the air as mother pushes about peppers, onions and tomatoes in a marinade for shish-ka-bobs. The dog is smacking her lips together licking her hair face from her recent supper endeavors and searching the neighborhood from her high window perch for bunnies and kitties. Eggs are bouncing about in boiling water, slowly cooking from the outside in and a finch is singing loudly calling for its mate in the tree just outside. The Skankaroos are blaring from the computer speakers, mom can hardly stand still as her feet find the beat and the rest of her body follows suite.
You've probably all heard lately about the adventure I've been on. As most know my shoulder was injured in December from a "sledding" incident that was lacking a sled at all and instead in its place my back was used. And instead of sliding down the hill as planned, my shoulder dug into the hard snow and I did a few somersaults backwards. 3 months of Phsyio and I thought I was set to go...however my shoulder decided otherwise. The evening before Tuesday was an evening of hell.
I woke with an pain I'd rarely felt before, never with my shoulder. After lying there for who knows how long I rolled out of bed and went up to my mom in tears, being taken into emerge for a 5 hour wait. By the end I couldn't take the drugs he prescribed as I have an intolerance to Codine. So after another painful 3 hours of dozing I got up in hopes I could go to the walk in and get different pain killers. It wasn't until 5.00 Tuesday that I was able to take some after the x-ray technician made me do an aerobics class and blood had been drawn from my purple veins. So I took the night off, lying with a throbbing shoulder and fish swimming in my vision, high off narcotics.
By Wednesday I was bored out of my mind lying around and watching television. A phone call and a trip to the walk in had me pumping iron into my system and waiting patiently for more results.
How is it now that it's Friday? A worlds difference. After lying around like a floppy voodoo doll with my acupuncturist pushing needles into ever muscle possible and popping anti-inflammatory's constantly I can safely say I can move my arm quite well. Whether that'll last, who knows? An MRI has been scheduled and my fall Russia trip has been suspended as I don't have the money to cover all the expenses. Further updates shall come within the next week. Thank you for the prayers.
Peace.

A Tribute

So life's been a little hectic lately. I've been attempting to wrap up this semester the past eight weeks it feels like and finally things are starting to slow down. I've got an oral exam tomorrow and a presentation and then a paper due next week and that's all for this semester besides exams! I'm thrilled for it to be over, but I'm also depressed that I will soon be packing up and heading back to the land of Alberta. It's not the fact of seeing family or being in the wide open prairies that makes me depressed. It's the fact I have to leave behind some beautiful and amazing people behind that I won't be seeing for probably nine months with my trip to Russia ending in December. The thought makes me want to burst into tears. It unleashes the beast of anxiety I keep under lock and key. It makes me want to write a tribute to all the wonderful friends I have here, who I could just call my family away from family.
Where do I even begin? Who do I start with? They've all impacted me so differently. I couldn't put it in a list of most important to least...it's just not possible.
I guess we start with the obvious. The other person to the word /we/. None other than Tobster. Now I've got to figure out where to even begin with this amazing young lady. When I first met Tobi I didn't think it'd work. I'm sorry...she was just too crazy. How could one even get through to her? She was always laughing and always happy and could never seem to just be angry. But alas...God had other plans. She's the closest person I've got here and I wouldn't have it anyway. She's been there for me when I've needed to cry, when I've needed to laugh, or when I've just needed to sit with someone in silence. Her beautiful personality, that yes seems crazy at first, is absolutely stunning and I can't even begin to describe what a beautiful and wonderful woman God has created. Fortunately for me I won't be split up from her for the full 9 months, spending one of those months in St. Petersburg exploring with her! I can't wait. Love you Tobi. -attempts to tackle-
Amber. Yes...your sister and I discuss your...beauty at the gym. But I want to tell you that your personality outshines everything. From what I can tell you're hilarious and I'm glad we met this year. I can't wait to get to know you better throughout the time we have together in St. John's. You remind me of my sister for some reason and you seem like you know what you want. Which...in life...is a really good thing. I pray that God will lead you in the direction he wants you to take and that you'll stay strong in your faith. Everything will work out in your years to come! Just trust in the Lord.
Justin. We haven't hung out a lot, but I have to say from our little conversations we have had, whether it be at church, at the gym or at Tim's, you're an awesome guy. Tobi and I often joke that you're like a big brother, which is always a good thing seeing as we're both missing those figures in our lives. Thanks for being there to cheer us up and just have a good time. Praying you get into Engineering this coming year and that Jason will be there so you're not alone in the dreadful faculty that seems to eat up every engineers life.
Brit. Where do I start? Your bubbly self has pushed me through so many boundaries this semester and I'm soooo happy that we started going to the gym together. Honestly I bet we never would have been this close had we not set our goal to go three times a week. And that would have certainly made a very depressing and difficult semester. You've pushed me to new limits and brought forth a joy in my life that I have long forgotten. I don't know what I'm going to do without you in Russia, but I'll certainly be pleased to return and see you again. You look amazing and I can't wait to see those toned muscles whether it be in the summer or next winter. I'm already counting down the days from when I'll be able to see you again....even though I haven't even left yet haha.
Liz. Oh Liz. My roommate of two years. The roommate has kept me sane in the most insane times. The best roommate I've ever had. A friend who's gone through an extreme amount of trials and tribulations in her life and come through them a beautiful woman. I pray that you will have the joys in your life that you deserve and that you will find all the happiness God has planned for you. I know that I'll keep in touch with you and am more than depressed by the fact that I won't see you when I return in January to St. John's. However I'm sure it won't be the last I see of you and sometime in the future we will meet up once again. Thank you for everything you've done for me and all the times I've ranted and gone crazy over the smallest things. You've been a big support in my life and I couldn't express my appreciation enough.
Ira. Unfortunately I don't have the time to go into detail about how amazing of a woman you are. Your jokes, your happiness, your personality. It all shows how creative God really is. I love seeing you and hearing the stories of your life. You sure have had an interesting path and I know that it's extremely difficult sometimes. But I want you to remember that there are many out there who love you and need you in their lives to help them get through the days. You may not feel like you have an impact on people sometimes, but trust me you do. And it helps. It's helped me see things more brightly and get through trials. You've given me some wonderful advice for my trip to Russia and I greatly appreciate it. Don't forget to write a list of things I can bring back for you!
Julia. You are like a mother away from a mother. And that isn't a bad thing. I know it might get on your nerves when everyone calls you the mother, but it's a beautiful and unique thing. You keep us thinking rationally and remembering that life isn't a game and we do need to be serious about some things. But then you have these moments where you laugh about the funniest little thing, and I can't help but laugh with you and know that inside there's a kid just like the rest of us who are so immature it's not even funny. Living together next year sure will be an adventure...but I'm bound to make it an awesome one and am more than thrilled to be calling you my roomie! ;) Hoping that thesis works out for you and that your summer here will be blessed...even if most people are away. You're a strong woman and I'm positive you can get through anything. Just think of all the hectic dinners we've planned and how well they've all worked out!
Keegan. Or should I say grampy? Another friend I don't even know where to begin with. I don't even know where I'd be without you. Stepping into Faith Bible Chapel I was terrified to start another life somewhere I knew no one. And who was there to greet my family and me, but you? You've made my experience in St. John's absolutely incredible. You've helped me through some tough things and I'm sure they won't be the last things to come. Your walk with God encourages me to strive to work on my walk with God. The things you pull off, the people you talk to and the way you've affected so many people's lives just blows me away. I can't thank you enough for the things you've done and the amount of rides you've given me everywhere haha. Hoping the salmon fishing goes wonderfully this summer and you get to make that fishing video that /everyone/ will be dying to watch. ;)
Brad. Every time someone mentions you I can't help but smirk. You're one of a kind. First you remind me of my brother in law, into all the rocks and what not, but then you're a completely different person from anyone I've really ever met. You were the first person I'd met from Canada who hadn't experienced most things I had taken for advantage growing up. It opened my eyes to see that not everyone grew up with the same kind of life I had growing up in a city. It makes my life seem kind of boring haha. I can't imagine all the new experiences you've had this year and hope you have an awesome summer to come.
Charity. We didn't get to hang out a lot the past two years, and I imagine that's because of our conflicting schedules. However you're also one of a kind. Your personality is rich and beautiful and I'd love to spend more time with you getting to know you. I love your connection with animals and completely get where you're coming from. I'm positive God has great plans for you and I'm praying that you'll stay strong with him. By the time I'll get back you'll be done school and doing what you love! So jealous haha.
Ashlee. The one who I have tried and tried to meet up with time and time again. It's so unfortunate my semester has been absolutely insane, because I honestly think we'd get along quite well. From the pictures you have on facebook (not that I was creepin' or anything), it looks like you've had quite some experiences. I'm excited to meet up with you this week and finally get to just sit and chat and get to know you a bit more. I wish I had a vehicle here so that I might make things a little easier for you by giving you drives to the different events we have. I sure hope you'll be here when I return in January and maybe we'll get to hang out a bit more then!
Daniel A. Yes I have to put your last initial...due to the fact I know a ton of Daniel's here. I can't believe this is your last week in St. John's. It seems like we just met a few weeks ago at Faith. I want to thank you for the things you've shown me in your walk with God that have seemed to occur in my life the past year and a half. Your testimony has helped me get through some struggles and I know God has a path laid out for you. It may not be evident right now, but just wait, be patient and know that God has everything in control. It'll all work out in the end, whether you become a crazy prof or a writer. It's all sorted out.
Nicole. My traveling missionary. I can't even explain how much I've missed you the past year. There have been times I've broken down in a messy heap wishing you were here. I've kept you in my prayers and so far God has answered by keeping you safe and well and funded. You have influenced my life in so many ways just by going on this mission, the amount of faith it takes one to just get up and leave their life to go and further the kingdom of God. You're simply amazing and I love you for it. I cannot wait to see you in January. Like...watch out cause I'll probably end up bowling you to the ground.
Amanda. Another young lady I would have loved to spend more time with this year. By the time I come back next year we will have lots of time to meet for coffee and hang out finally. Your a beautiful woman who maybe a lot of people don't know that well. But I sure hope that they want to get to know you, because I think your absolutely wonderful. I know life can be rough at times, but you just keep plowing through and I admire you for that. I'm praying for you often that God keeps giving you the strength you need to keep on plowing through and staying strong. Also...I think you should do some recording because your voice is absolutely breath taking!
Kristine. So I found it hard coming from Alberta to Newfoundland, and most people thought I was crazy. But I can't imagine what people thought when you told them you were moving to Canada. The strength that must have taken....I can't imagine. I'm glad that we did get to hang out some this past year and hope to see you guys in January as well. I enjoy having you over and listening to your stories. Your laugh makes me laugh and you're a beautiful young lady with a ton of potential in whatever you choose to do!
Ramsey. Ok let's just get one thing out there. The prank with the lock on my bag (I'm guessing that was you)....was way lamer than my shaving cream/razor prank. So good try, but you lose. And it's not over by the way. So you'd better watch out. Otherwise I have to say you've definitely made my last two semesters a bit more bearable. I'm so glad I can joke around with someone here like I do with my cousins back home. You and Josh are like big brothers, always bugging and teasing us and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. Thanks for putting up with my cooking and Tobi and my crazy antics. I can only imagine all the pranks I'll have thought up by the time I get back to St. John's.
Josh. I probably could have put you up in Ramsey's little blurb haha. Definitely a big brother and I love the fact that you're dating the one I find quite serious out of the group I hang with here. I can't believe you graduate next year....that freaks me out. I feel like we should either graduate the same year or me before you for some reason haha, I don't even know why. Oh well you'll win that race. And then I was telling Julia today you should probably just get married and have kids and have a big house with a white picket fence. On a serious note though I do want to say thanks for dealing with me and Tobi. You always make me laugh about something ridiculous you're doing or have done.
Becca. Thanks for inviting me to your healthy lifestyles group. At first I thought I was signing up for just an hour of boredom, but I actually enjoyed the sessions I have been able to make it to. On another note you're a wonderful friend to have. Your generous personality pushes me to try and be more like you. I don't want to sound like I'm repeating myself, but I do want to say you are a beautiful young lady and again God definitely has a strong path for you in the future. I hope that he continues to bless you and that you'll be happy wherever you end up.
Jason. The tall young man I thought was brand new to Faith until someone mentioned who your siblings were. Sorry if I was a bit imposing when we first met, just wanted to make sure you weren't left out and lonely haha. I don't even know where to start with you either. You're definitely a character I've never met before. A Jason Borne right out of the movies. If that's what you want to be. I'm surprised you haven't lost your mind yet on Tobi or I through the year, your patience is quite something. Something I hope we can all strive for. Thanks for the good times this year and thanks for informing me that it would take a long time to walk to the Bell Island Ferry...I was actually considering it earlier this year.
Daniel B. Again initials are key to this name. You've been quite the light during my time in St. John's. You've brought up numerous good points at bible study and whenever I happen to run into you. You're always asking how I'm doing and if there's anything that needs prayer. I appreciate it beyond words and am thankful that God has created such a young man as yourself. Your devotion towards your faith and God encourages me in my walk and reminds me of what I need to set my focus on sometimes. Thanks for that.
Gabe. Again I probably could have put you with Ramsey and Josh haha. Another joker who brightens my day whenever I get to see them. I wish you could come out to more events, but I understand with the Navy and school things get busy. I hope you have an amazing time in B.C. and think you should just hop over to Alberta and see how much better it is than allllll the provinces combined. Hah. And by the time I get back to St. John's I expect you to be holding the dinner parties, mister navy chef.

That was long....and I don't expect anyone to read the whole thing. I just felt like saying a few thank you's and letting you all know that I appreciate you all individually and as a group. You are my family away from my immediate family and I love you all very very much. Now I'm going to end this off before it gets anymore sappier and I begin to get tears in my eyes.
Love ya'll.