I will Love in this Life until I finally have to go

It's a windy, rainy, cool day and the anxiety has pounced upon me like a lion on its prey. The feeling of a queezy stomach, the strength leaving my muscles and my legs threatening to buckle out from under me is getting to be an all too familiar feeling. I've been given the "tools" to deal with the anxiety but it still creeps up on me from time and time again. So I turned to journaling as I have done this entire summer. I'll warn you now...I don't know who this post is intended for but as soon as I'd finished wiping tears from my face I had to get up and write this. The tears are still threatening to spill over onto my cheeks.
The quote hit me hard when I opened my "It's Gonna Be Okay" journal. Sometimes I'm positive that God has a way with the quotes in this book and the timing I open and write in them because they usually seem to speak out to what I'm feeling.
"The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit." - David Lee Roth
I wasn't even worrying about self-improvement...or at least I hadn't thought I was. I'd been worried about going outside in the wretched weather and looking like crap when I got to school. I'd been worrying my assignments and how I needed to work on them and make them perfect to achieve the marks I've been striving for. I'd been worrying about how I'd get to the functions happening this weekend and if I'd be bothering people if I asked for rides. I'd been worrying about this cold and whether or not it'd attack me before tomorrow (as I told my prof it would) or if it'd wait and I'd be sicker then a dog on Monday when I have to give my presentation. I'd been worrying about the feeling of anxiety and how it cripples my ability to function at all. What if it came at Christmas like it did last year? Would I spend another New Years Eve trying not to puke my brains out and avoid all contact with people?
But in reality when I looked at all of this I realized it was a form of self-improvement. And then it hit me as if I'd run into a brick wall. God...loves...me. Let me say it again. God loves me. I couldn't get over this. I kept repeating it over and over. If you looked at my journal you'd see under 25/10/12 the phrase written numerous times. He sent his own son to die for me! Do you understand what that means? A lot of the time, I'll admit, I really don't think about it that much. I'm like ya meh he died for me...awesome. But I don't take it seriously...until now. I could write it over and over and over. He loved me enough to die to save me. He wants to save me. He wants to save you. We are his creation. It's like when I create a piece of art...I hover over that piece and protect it, knowing that if it's even scratched how angry I'd be. Times that by a billion. God is hovering around us, he dwells within us. Nothing can hurt us. No man, no assignment, no demon, no devil, none of creation can rip us from God's hand. He loves us. You, me, her, him, them, us.
I don't know if that gets the point across....in fact I'm pretty sure it doesn't because I'm still writing He loves me over and over and I still can't grasp how precious I am to him. We are all that precious to him. We don't deserve His love. You know we don't. I know we don't. But He still He loves us.

"For Everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world-our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" 1 John 5:4-5