Life's for the Living, So Live it or You're Better off Dead

The rain falls against the window sliding down and creating dotted patterns upon the glass. Leaves lay heavy on the branches as droplets fall from their tips. Birds hide under facets, looking out as the rain pours down from the low grey clouds. Fog sweeps through alleyways between houses and rolls over the endless hills of St. John's.

And I sit in my beautiful kitchen watching it all pass by instead of writing my research paper that's due tomorrow. But I've been meaning to write a blog post for the past week and it wasn't until now that I've been motivated to do so. So what better time then the present?

Tobi and I are happily settled into our new home with our third roommate Nicole just unpacking and our fourth, Julia, packing up to move in tomorrow. We've become an outpost for those in need of a couch, or in our case a futon, to stay while finding living arrangements during this hectic time of the year. By now you've all heard, seen or watched our vlog and realized how in love I am with our house. I spend the majority of my time in the kitchen as I absolutely love the bay windows and looking out at the beautiful maple trees covering our backyard. Cooking has been occurring as well as I love the amount of work space I have, along with the fact I have nothing to do in my time besides my research paper. 

People have constantly been asking how Russia was and I have begun to hate the question. I cannot possibly find words to put my experience into. It was absolutely amazing, wonderful, adventurous, and more than I ever wanted it to be. Would I go back? In a heart beat. Do I miss it? Everyday. What was the best part? Every single moment I was breathing Russian air. What was the food like? Yummy. What were the people like? Cold on the outside, warm when you spoke to them. Was it dangerous? I didn't feel in danger once. Did you make friends? I made more than friends, we were a family for 30 days to each other. 

There's so much more I could say and it would take blog post upon blog post upon blog post. As I said in my previous blog post I would much rather sit over a cup of tea or coffee (Now that I'm drinking caffeine again) and just have a fun conversation about life and let the stories come up as they may.

However what I can say is that in the past few weeks, perhaps the last month, I have grown more than I have in the past two years. I feel like things have changed, not for the worse either. I enjoyed my time in Russia. I realized things and made decisions to do things I probably wouldn't have done if I never ended up in that beautiful country. People may not like the changed things. Others may love them. Sometimes I feel like I've taken a step backwards, but sometimes you need to take a step backwards to jump ahead two steps. I've become friends with people I wouldn't normally have become friends with and I've joined a new social group I'm proud to be part of. I've realized everyone has something to offer and share and even the things that annoy me aren't such bad things. I've grown more patient, caring and loving. I've grown to appreciate things in other cultures and be grateful for the things I have. 

Things don't always work out the way we want them to. We might think we know who we are and what we want to be and what we want to do. We might have our life planned out and be attacking it step by step. But if there's anything I've learned in the past month, that plan is completely pointless. Things will change. They always do. And when they do. Life gets real. You have to recalculate. You have to stress out and lose your mind for a short bit. You may be pathless and lost. But what's the point of life if there isn't a little shake up once in a while? The Lord likes to keep things interesting and remind us who's actually in control. We can plan all we want. Things will change. You can hate it. You can embrace it. Me?

I'm having an anxiety attack.

Здравствуйте

I'm going to start this post off a little differently than I usually do, and that's a big deal as I hate breaking my routine. I want to apologize to you all for not posting at all during my stay in Russia. Originally I thought I'd have the time and motivation to write numerous blogs about all the crazy adventures I've had here, but upon coming here and actually living I've found that I had little time and when I did I was extremely exhausted. Even as I write this now my head is begging to be put down on the pillow and my eyes threaten to close. But I will write you a short blog and update a bit about what happened in the past month.
Until last week we didn't have any days off from excursions and I can probably count the number of days we were didn't have anything on one hand. This trip has excelled past everything I thought it would be. The worries I had about where we were going to live, the safety of us in the city, the fact Tobi and I might kill each other due to living in such close quarters,  getting lost, not getting along with anyone on the trip were not anything I ever needed to be worried about. The place we live is absolutely wonderful and our hostess is such a mother to us. I have yet to feel unsafe in the city. Tobi and I haven't bickered once and really haven't gotten sick of each other yet. We have got lost, but we've always got home. And I've grown so close to everyone in the group I'm depressed just thinking of leaving them in the airport on Saturday when we arrive back in Newfoundland.
We were blessed with beautiful weather and when it did rain it was gladly welcomed because we were sick of how hot the rest of the time had been. I got a tan that makes me look like I went to Cuba and a fur hat that makes it seem as though I expect Canada to be -40 when I get back.
As for where we've been and what we've been doing, I've seen a number of palaces and museums that would take a blog post each if I were to describe them. The guides were usually terribly boring and we were led through the city on the worst tour I've been on in my life. We solved the problem by getting "lost" and going on a boat tour instead. Besides that one we went on all the tours and I had to say I'm glad I did because I got to see things I wouldn't have had I gone by myself.
The city itself is stunning. Towering apartment buildings that are falling apart litter the maze of streets with palaces springing up all over downtown and anywhere near the canals.Stray dogs wander the streets, pigeons flight into you expecting you to move for them, and babushka's sit at corners with shaky hands out for money or trying to sell flowers. People walk down the street at all hours of the day with a can or bottle of beer, which shouldn't surprise you when it's cheaper than buying water (which you have to do because of the contamination). If you approach someone on the street they'll gladly help you with answering your questions and even offer to take you to where you're looking if it's not too much out of their way. Cars zoom past you, threatening to crush your toes as you cross the street and buses continue to move with their doors open as you attempt to board them.
There's so much I can write and explain, but what would be the fun in telling you all of that. I'd much rather sit down and have tea with you and talk about it in person. There's far too many stories to type and I can't even begin to describe my new friends in writing. I couldn't have asked for a better group to have come. We've saved each others backs more than once and been there for each other. We've seen each other every single day, done things we won't ever do again in our lives and talked about things I've never talked about with other people haha. We've crossed lines, we've hugged, we've fallen asleep on each other's shoulders, we've struggled to understand Russians, we've carried each other home after having too many drinks. As one said, we've become a wolf pack.
I am looking forward to coming home and visiting. I hope this will suffice until next time.

 Пока