So You Don't Know Where You're Going...

Upon sitting at the kitchen table the past two mornings with books piled high around me, some open to specific pages with highlighted sentences and notes scrawled about around the paragraphs on the white page, I have come to a revelation that I do not know what I am going to do in my life. For some reason this might have scared me a few days or even years ago...but as of right now I am completely fine with this fact. Liz and I have had a few conversations over the past few weeks since our return from Christmas holidays that we only live life once and how we want it to be enjoyable. Of course not every moment, hour, day or week is enjoyable, but there are those moments, those hours, those days or those weeks that are enjoyable...and they stick out a lot more in our memories than the boring and dull ones. Someone might ask what you did over the weekend and you might have done nothing at all and just say nothing, while thinking to yourself "what did I actually do?" and upon thinking about this question you honestly can't remember. But when there's a moment in there that was enjoyable it instantly pops out at you like a shooting star among the millions of other stationary stars.
Now of course my parents are reading this moments, hours or days after I've posted this (hopefully not weeks) and having a fit at the idea of me being some lowly bum sitting around doing art for the rest of my life on a street corner. This is not the case though. I am continuing with my program and the more I've sat here these two days the more I've realized how passionate about it. I do not know what I will do with my degree after I come out of university, but at this point I really am not worried about it. There are many options I can explore and with three or four years of school left for my undergraduate I have lots of time to ponder over these options. The idea of not knowing excites me at this point and I have been exploring these options reading articles about them and the prerequisites for further education for the past hour now, ignoring those books staring up at me.
I must apologize for that slight rant...but I just wanted to express the feeling of freedom I have come to feel over the past two days after realizing I should not be stressed about my life at this point. I am young...the world is laid down at my feet and I can pick whatever paths I want to tread upon. There are no strings holding my limbs and moving them, there are no pegs holding me down to the spot...
By now you will all have noticed my relationship status has changed and, perhaps, some of my posts on Facebook about my impending doom and facing fears. I will now inform you that all of those status's were true at the point I posted them, but I am fine. I could never have imagined the support I received from everyone the past few weeks and am slowly coming to realize that this world may be huge and scary, but even thousands of miles away from home I have family and friends who are there to support me and make sure I'm doing alright. Even the friends I have here have shown support beyond my expectations. And I want to thank you all for it, was and is needed at times and you all seem to know when and how. <3
Some of you may also be wondering as to why I've spent the past two days indoors. That would be because of the piling of snow that has occurred over the past 48 hours as we've had over a foot now and it is still snowing. My spirits have been high with this weather as it's finally feeling like winter and I'm embracing it as much as I can because I know it'll only disappear within the next week or so and reveal green grass/moss once again.
Studies are going well in school as I've mentioned before. I've been doing my best to set out a schedule for myself so that I can complete my five courses with as high of grades as I've set my goal. The more we go into depth in them the more I'm enjoying them and actually having fun...which is important when you're doing something you'll need to know for the rest of your life or as long as you want to pursue a career in that field.
But once again I want to thank you all and I wish I could reach out and give you all big hugs for all that you've done, said and offered these past few weeks. I'll pull through perfectly fine and continue to explore as I always seem to find myself doing.

Cheerio!